


Goodbye to Ghosts

by Inastiel



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-30
Updated: 2014-03-30
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:18:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1387336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inastiel/pseuds/Inastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim never had the chance to say goodbye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goodbye to Ghosts

It’s the silence that scares Jim, the oppressive heaviness that burrows into his bones, his soul, until the black hole that was planted inside of him when he climbed into the warp core finally expands and consumes him.

He lurches into being on the bridge of the Enterprise, shaking. The ship hums and whirs happily as he turns, searching for signs of life. Nothing. The stations are empty. He is aboard a ghost ship.

Jim takes a step and stumbles. His legs feel weak, not quite there, so he redirects his course to the captain’s chair. He collapses into it and stares at the view screen blankly. He shouldn’t be here. Why is he here?

The turbolift’s door swishes open and Pike steps out, followed by two others. Jim hurries to stand and almost stumbles when he recognizes the two behind Pike. Gaila smiles sadly at him. At her side stands a man Jim has only seen in pictures.

“Dad?” Jim chokes out. Oh god. He really is dead.

“Jim.” George crosses the bridge and stands before his son. His eyes are soft as he studies Jim. “You’ve grown a lot.”

Jim half-laughs.

“I’m proud of you, Jim, I’m so proud.” George says, and carefully, carefully wraps his arms around him. Jim stiffens for a moment and then returns the embrace.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there, but I’m sure you understand why I did what I did now.”

Jim nods. “I understand, dad.” The aching bitterness he had carried against his dad for years finally dissolves completely.

George steps back after a moment, eyes wet, and Gaila takes his place. Jim feels a knot form in his heart – he had used Gaila to defeat the Kobayashi Maru, used her for something that in the end never mattered, and then she had died on the Farrugut and he had had never had time to make amends.

“I’m sorry, Gaila. I’m so sorry.” He says, and he means it.

“I know, Jim,” and there’s no hate in her eyes. Jim feels the tears that have welled up begin to spill. She kisses him on the check, and he feels forgiveness sweep through his body to his heart.

Pike rests his hand on Gaila’s shoulder for a moment before she pulls away. Pike simply stares for a moment and then he smiles.

“I’m damn proud of you, son. You earned that chair.” Pike reaches out and Jim clings to him. When the sobs break out Pike simply holds him. In the background George watches, his heart heavy. He does not regret saving his crew, but he does regret not being able to be there for his family.

The turbolift swishes open again and Jim looks up, eyes puffy and red. Leonard is standing inside, looking on the scene with sad eyes.

“Bones? Are you dead? I thought – I thought I saved the ship! I thought I saved you!” Jim cries, breaking away from Pike. Had he failed?

“I’m not dead, Jim. I’m here to bring you back home.” Leonard says. There are lines under his eyes and his face is drawn and tired. Jim finds himself moving towards him.

Jim reaches out, but his hand goes straight through Leonard. He blinks in surprise.

“We don’t have much time, Jim. We have to go.” Leonard insists, wrinkling his nose at his own ghost-like self.

“I-my dad’s here, Bones. Pike’s here. Gaila’s here. I can’t leave them.”

“We’ll be here when you come back, Jim.” George reassures him. Gaila nods.

Pike smiles gently. “You deserve a second chance.”

“Jim.” Leonard says, and Jim turns to face him. “Your crew needs you. I need you.” Leonard’s eyes are pleading, and Jim can see the terrible grief inside his friend.

Jim wrestles with the decision. The ship hums in the background, and he’s reminded of his own ship, back on earth. He looks at Pike again.

“We’ll be fine, Jim. The Enterprise needs a captain, and I can think of no one better for the job than you.”

“Thank you.” Jim manages to get out. Pike has given and taught him so much. Pike has been a father to him, believed that he could do better when he was a bleeding drunk nobody when no one else did.

Leonard takes Jim’s hand and Jim’s scared, because Leonard’s hand is solid now and does that mean he’s going to die? Is he going to get stuck here? Jim can’t let that happen, not when he worked so hard to keep him safe.

Leonard turns back to the turbolift.

Jim looks back at the three one last time. George looks sad but proud. Gaila gives him a gentle smile. Pike’s eyes are shining with pride for his adopted son.

I believe in you.

“Goodbye.” Jim whispers, something he hasn’t had a chance to truly say to them, and follows Leonard home.

When Jim blinks his eyes open two weeks later at the hospital and sees Leonard’s relieved and tender expression, he knows he’s made the right choice.


End file.
